Chiff and Fipple Forums

I posted this in the Moratorium II thread, but it hasn't gotten any comments there, so I thought I'd set it up with its own thread.

This is a word puzzle, better understood by English-speaking, rather than American-speaking, readers, I believe:

If the B mt, put :
If the B . putting :
Don't put : over a - der.
You'd be an * it.

If no one gets it within 24 hours, I'll post a hint. (If it's so obvious to the British persons reading it that it isn't worth the bother of posting the answer, my apologies for wasting your time.)

Best wishes,
Jerry

Jerry:

I'm not British, but I do believe this is solvable even by just about anyone who's read a certain amount of British lit.

I'll send my solution via PM, so others can keep trying, too.

--Aaron

Aaron did get the correct answer. I hadn't thought in advance about a prize, but I'll tweak a Shaw free for him (he pays postage) if he's got one or can order one and have it sent.

Please keep trying, folks. I enjoy hearing from you. I'll post a hint tomorrow.

Best wishes,
Jerry

*waits in hushed awe for the answer, for he is but a Midwestern yokel*

If the B mt, put :
If the B . putting :
Don't put : over a - der.
You'd be an * it.

(you have to have a southern speech impediment to say this right)
If the bee mount a'possum flea, pee your tea (ta ta)
If the bee space-out perioid, pee your titty in Gee space colon.
Don't pee your tea (ta ta) overy dash d'period.
why, all you imposters feel Dee, space be space, and ass-trick it, period


okay...the real explanation?

If the B m t put :
If the B. putting :
Don't put : over a - der
You'd be an * it

We were first informed of several "colonialisms." In colonial times, the upper case letters were known as "Great" letters. Thus, the capital B is referred to as the "Great B."

Next, we are informed that the period is known as a full-stop. Finally, all other punctuation is read by name.

With this explanation, we are able to read the ditty as:

If the great B m t put colon
If the great B full stop putting colon
Don't put colon over a hyphen der
You'd be an asterisk it

or, with all spelling corrected:

If the grate be empty, put coal on,
If the grate be full, stop putting coal on,
Don't put coal on over a high fender,
You'd be an ass to risk it.

Next spoiler please?

OK, I'll tweak a Shaw for Lorenzo, too.

Nicely done, Lo. The mock version is a scream.

Best wishes,
Jerry

Lorenzo wrote:Next spoiler please?

ABCD goldfish?
LMNO goldfish.
OSAR! CM?
LIB. MR goldfish.

FUNEX?
SVFX.
FUNEM?
SVFM.
OKLFMNX.

Better give the nano a chance to spin. I don't have a Shaw, but thanx anyway




______________________________________________________________

(Hell no, them aren't goldfish, Abey)

Words are fun, and are funny things.

In high school, way back in the dark ages, I remember being stunned -- stunned! -- when I realized that the word "helicopter" was made of the roots "helico-" (for "spinning") and "-pter" (for "wing", as in "pteradactyl"). Before I realized that (after pondering, for some reason, the "pter" bit), I had thought it was made of the roots "heli" -- for nothing in particular -- and "copter", also for nothing, really. I walked around in a fog all day after that.

Which probably explains a lot.

No ham or eggs for me, please; I'm vegan. A tofu scramble, though -- mmmm. . .

--Aaron

Lorenzo wrote:I don't have a Shaw, but thanx anyway

You can pick them up cheaply at www.elderly.com . You might consider getting a Soprano Eb or an A or Bb. The Eb (or D) is only $15.50. After tweaking, these turn into pretty magical whistles.

Best wishes,
Jerry

Jerry Freeman wrote:FUNEX?
SVFX.
FUNEM?
SVFM.
OKLFMNX.

All right, this is more along my line. In fact, if you read the letters of the puzzle aloud, it sounds a lot like the speech of the Hutterites I used to encounter when I lived in South Dakota:

"Have you any eggs?"
"Yes, we have eggs."
"Have you any ham?"
"Yes, we have ham."
"OK, I'll have ham and eggs."

No need to tweak for me, Jerry. Please donate it to a needy WhOA victim.

I'm feeling magnimous, Nano. (Besides, you were the only Chiffer who took Ralph's entreaties seriously and sent sunflower seeds.)

Send me a Shaw and I'll tweak it free for you. (I highly recommend you take this offer. You'll be pleased with the whistle, I promise.)

Best wishes,
Jerry

URTMTNME, JRE.

It might just get me to take up the whistle for serious.

Civile Derego
Fortibus is in aro
Nobile demis trux
Votis indem
Causan dux

- Stephen

(much easier than the coal one)