Chiff and Fipple Forums

There was a farmer who had three little boys. One was 16, one was 12, and the smallest was 6. The eldest son said, "dad, I am tired of double-dating, when can I have my own car? The dad said, son you see that John deere Tractor in the barn, when its paid off for we will go get you a car." Ther eldest son said ok dad.

The 12 year old son later that day said, "Dad, when can I get a four wheeler so I can ride in the creeks like all my friends. The dad put his arm around the son and said, son when that John Deere tractor in the barn is paid off for, we will go to the motorcycle shop and get you a new four wheeler, the son smiled and said ok dad.

In the late evening, the youngest son asked dad," daddy when can I get a bicycle, I have out grown my tricycle. The dad got on one knee, placed his arm around his youngest and said, like I told your brothers, when that John Deere tractor in the barn is paid for, I'll go get you a bicycle.

The father started walking toward the house, but his youngest son didn't really like the answer his daddy gave him, so he kicked the ground and just through a fit.

Just then, he saw this rooster jump from the loft of the barn and land on a hen, he went over and kicked the sh*t out of that rooster and said," listen here, no one in this family is riding until that damn John Deere tractor is paid for.....

Hope you enjoyed!!!

Well, while we're on vaguely off-color jokes, here's one (from ancient memory) that Doc Watson told in concert:

A Baptist preacher in a small town used to walk to his church each day, and he would often pass a young Methodist preacher coming the other way on his bicycle.

One day, he saw the Methodist preacher coming along on foot, and not looking too happy, so he asked him, "Where's your bicycle?"

The Methodist preacher replied, "Someone stole it from outside my house."

So, the Baptist preacher says, "I'll tell you what you do. This Sunday, preach your sermon on the Ten Commandments, and when you get to 'Thou shalt not steal', bear down reall hard, with a lot of fire and brimstone. I'll do the same, and maybe the guilty person will feel bad about it and return it.

Sunday came and went, and a couple of days later the Baptist preacher saw the Methodist preacher coming along on his bicycle.

"So, it worked, eh?", he asked.

The Methodist preacher replied rather sheepishly, "I did what you said, and I preached my sermon on the Ten Commandments, but when I got to the part about 'Thou shalt not commit adultery', I remembered where I had left my bicycle."

There's a fiddle tune called "The Methodist Preacher". Don't know whether it was inspired by the story, or not.

This just might be the dumbest joke ever...

Why do chicken coups have only two doors?

Because if they had four they'd be a chicken sedan.

:roll:

Say... Why did the lollipop cross the road?













It was stuck to the chicken...

And, why did the chicken cross the road?
















To prove to the possum it could be done.

Then there was the farmer that won the lottery...

A local reporter asked him what he was going to do with money and he replied, "Oh, I'll probably just keep farming 'til it's gone."

What do you call a chicken crossing the road?







Poultry in motion.

Why did the chicken cross the road?



Because it was way to long to go around.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?






To get to the other slide.

(Courtesy of my daughter)