How many does it take jokes

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 8:55 pm

amar wrote:What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 9:23 pm

izzarina wrote:
amar wrote:What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on whether it has health insurance.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just tell it to take two asprin and come round to the surgery later.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nurse!

amar · Post by **amar** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 1:48 am

jsluder wrote:
izzarina wrote:
amar wrote:What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on whether it has health insurance.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just tell it to take two asprin and come round to the surgery later.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nurse!

perrins57 · Post by **perrins57** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 2:38 am

How many Father-in-laws does it take to change a lighbulb?

You dont want to change that yourself, you want to get a professional in and I told you those lightbulbs were no good, you should have got the other ones, if you want my opinion, next time you should . . . .

scarhand · Post by **scarhand** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 3:51 am

that sounds like a MOTHER-in-law response to me, especially getting the father-in-law to do the actual changing of the bulb . . .

perrins57 · Post by **perrins57** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 4:23 am

scarhand wrote:that sounds like a MOTHER-in-law response to me, especially getting the father-in-law to do the actual changing of the bulb . . .

My attempt at a joke was based on Harry Enfield (British comedian) who had a Father-in-law character whose catchphrase was "You dont wanna do that!" Also on my own bitter experience. Soon after I was married my FIL

came to help (ha ha ha

) me fit a Kitchen. "You dont want to fit that sink yourself, you want to get a plumber to do that". "You dont want a unit there you want it over here" "You shouldn't have bought one of those cookers!" "Here let me show you how I would do it" - My wife ended up down the doctors and I sat in the corner of the room rocking back and forth, muttering to myself, for three days. Aaaaaaarrrghhhhh.

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 3:26 pm

Q: How many purple-haired space-women does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They never have an original idea.

perrins57 · Post by **perrins57** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 7:01 pm

How many IKEA shop assistans does it take to change a light bulb?

"Sorry, we ran out of light bulb stock. We expect it to arrive early next month. We do have tea lights though!"