About Fat-Related Posts and the "War on Fat"

[susnfx]

My latest favorite my-gosh-I'm-so-fat ad: The one where the woman who was on some reality show spouts that she went from a size 10 to a size 4 in however-long-it-was. Are you kidding me?!? Your clothing size must now be in single digits? A size 10, for any height, is a perfectly healthy size and may be too thin for many. To suggest that a size 10 woman "needed" to lose weight is scary to me.

Susan

[Tyler]

Bingo! Excellent point.

And/or vice versa.

Another bingo for another excellent point!

I think you're all on the money.
bingo x3.

Ok, I gotta do this...

I had a friend before I met my wife...

I had a few before I got married too...I feel your pain!

[Tyler]

Well, since there are several here participating in the Fatasses Annonymous meeting...

My name is Tyler, and I'm fat.

And happy.



I used to be in really good form, but oh well.

[jim stone]

Yeah, I finally took my brother-in-law aside, after several years
of prevaricating, and told him that he is setting up for a
heart attack. He's overweight, he works too hard, he doesn't
get enough exercise, and he's 40. He has two boys, 4 and 6.
I told him about my overweight dad dying of a coronary
when I was 7 and he was 42.

I guess we never get it right. It's always extremes.
I sure appreciate people disliking this one, but,
well, at least there's a point to it.

Humbly submitted: you'd have a coronary too if you had to be constantly judged by everyone based on such an insignificant physical trait.

I disagree. So does the
American Heart Association and the American College of
Cardiologists. I'm not for judging anybody on physical traits,
of course, and I certainly wasn't judging my brother-in-law.
Which is why I didn't talk to him about this for years. He thanked me,
by the way, and has since taken meaures to reduce
his weight and to work less hard.

I don't think one does anyone any favors by denying this:
the risk of heart attack for men in early middle age from
being overweight is real, and vastly outstrips whatever risk
(so far undocumented, to my knowledge) of heart attack
from being judged by everyone on the basis of such an insignficant
physical trait. The latter may make one miserable, but, to
my knowledge, there is no correlation with heart disease.

[CHCBrown]

You are what you are.

It's when you finally figure that out that you're an adult.


Some of us never get there, more's the pity.

[emmline]

James, you're right about societal pressure, and the harm it does to vulnerable people. The same beast takes many forms, though, you happen to be particularly sensitive to the weight issue.
For example, the whole crazy cosmetic surgery industry. The whole "Swan" thing, where women who would have benefited from just a little counseling and a little exercise were turned into full-fledged Barbie clones.
The whole notion that you'll be more loveable with saline-filled silicone bags shoved under your pecs. (Sure, they may get infected, may rupture, may migrate into a uni-boob--but don't you wanna look good? I mean, Madison Ave good?)
You should probably spend thousands, and endure major scalp trauma, because nobody likes bald guys either, right?

It all reminds me of what a responsibility we have to make sure our children know it's not merely ok, but wonderful to be who you are.

[susnfx]

The feeling of helplessness and agony that overcomes you when you find your beautiful child laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, curled up in a fetal position and sobbing because she can't make herself eat can't be imagined unless you've been there.

I've recently heard more experts place overeating/obesity with anorexia and bulimia as an eating disorder. I believe that's true because in many cases it stems from the same type of emotional issues and depression that may be taking place in those types of disorders.

A few years ago I watched some daytime talk show where a morbidly obese woman was bedridden and the talk show host and the woman's family were going to "help" her. What they did was howl at her for 30 minutes about eating so much. Where was she getting the food! Why didn't she at least try to get out of bed and start some exercising! Not one person mentioned the deep-seated emotional issues she must have to have wound up there in the first place.

I do NOT mean to imply that overweight people are mentally ill, just that for many there are, indeed, depression and emotional issues that need to be dealt with to truly help them (I can say that because I'm one of them).

Susan

[peeplj]

A few years ago I watched some daytime talk show where a morbidly obese woman was bedridden and the talk show host and the woman's family were going to "help" her. What they did was howl at her for 30 minutes about eating so much. Where was she getting the food! Why didn't she at least try to get out of bed and start some exercising! Not one person mentioned the deep-seated emotional issues she must have to have wound up there in the first place.

Well, if she didn't have deep-seated emotional issues before her family "helped" her, I'm sure she did after!

--James

[peeplj]

You are what you are.

It's when you finally figure that out that you're an adult.

Some of us never get there, more's the pity.

This is an excellent point.

Even more than being fat, having had psoriasis for so many years has taught me to have some attitude: if people don't like how I look, then they are cordially invited to look at something else!

The problem is that the prejudice against fat people is very real. No matter how healthy and mature your self-image may be, you still have to interact with other people.

The real problem, as with so many other kinds of prejudice, doesn't come from the snide remarks, the behind-the-hands laughter, or even from the occasional confrontation with well-meaning but ill-informed family members; the real problems come when you are applying for a job and you've already got a black mark against you because so many people equate fat with lazy. The real problems come when you want to buy a house or a car and you can't get as good a deal someone who is thin. Or when you can't get a seat in a resteraunt but the thin people who just came in after you with no reservation have already been seated.

Fat people are treated as second-class citizens. They take the brunt of every joke. In popular entertainment, fat people are shown as either stupid or evil.

It's wrong. It's wrong to treat people in this way.

Even if fat people could easily and quickly become thin, it would STILL be wrong to treat them in this way.

--James

[The Weekenders]

Irony is that in America, obesity if often a sign of poverty or at least very much working class. So the prejudice you are referring to is also symptomatic of the whole marketing self-image thing and is doubly cruel.

[jim stone]

There was a swell installment of LA Law years ago,
concerning a woman attorney who is fired by her
lawfirm for being fat--the director says that juries
will be prejudiced against her.

So she sues them. It was pretty well done, and
at one point she breaks down weeping to her
lawyer, saying: 'When I was in highschool I couldn't
be a cheerleader, and now I can't be a lawyer.
Why does it always have to matter?'

She makes the summation before the jury herself,
explaining to them that if her former employer is
right, they've already made up their mind against
her. Have they? He says he's opposed to this sort of
discrimination, in fact, but as it exists he can't discount it.
But isn't he perpetuating it?

[Flyingcursor]

I had a few before I got married too...I feel your pain!

Rimshot!!!


I don't know if anyone has searched for this or not but there are a lot of people who like people with extra meat on their bones. Me, for one!!

Take a look at reality vs. TV. If you go to the beach most people do not fit the TV standard, so I say, the media can go to Hades

[susnfx]

Take a look at reality vs. TV. If you go to the beach most people do not fit the TV standard, so I say, the media can go to Hades

That's a great idea...Unfortunately, the young girls who frequent anorexia forums wanting to know how they can "get" anorexia so they can be thin are unable to simply blow off the media and the societal pressure to be thin (my daughter showed me some of the posts).

Susan

[Flyingcursor]

Take a look at reality vs. TV. If you go to the beach most people do not fit the TV standard, so I say, the media can go to Hades

That's a great idea...Unfortunately, the young girls who frequent anorexia forums wanting to know how they can "get" anorexia so they can be thin are unable to simply blow off the media and the societal pressure to be thin (my daughter showed me some of the posts).

Susan

That's very sad.

[Jack]

Take a look at reality vs. TV. If you go to the beach most people do not fit the TV standard, so I say, the media can go to Hades

That's a great idea...Unfortunately, the young girls who frequent anorexia forums wanting to know how they can "get" anorexia so they can be thin are unable to simply blow off the media and the societal pressure to be thin (my daughter showed me some of the posts).

Susan

That's very sad.

The movement is called "pro-ana" and involves people, both male and female, with anorexia (and/or bulimia, COED, EDNOS, etc.) who don't want cured but want to make their disease worse. I've been very active in these circles in the past...it's largely but not entirely an Internet movement.

But please don't imply that only girls get eating disorders. Many of us who suffer are not girls.