The Official Chiff & Fipple 100 Question UK Citizenship Test

[benhall.1]

C'mon. Ask US a question instead of sitting back and watching us make idiots of ourselves.

But it's fun.

It's really hard to say who has the hook in his mouth here, isn't it.

OK. No need to carp.

[Nanohedron]

15. What do you do with a bap?

[dwest]

OK. No need to carp.

16. Who was Izaak Walton and what did he say about carp?

[Nanohedron]

OK. No need to carp.

16. [What did] Izaak Walton ... say about carp?

Nineteen paragraphs' worth. And a couplet. I darn near clawed my eyes out. Even he admitted it was "tedious".

And some have been so curious as to say, the 10 of April is a fatal day for Carps.

If carp haters ever wanted an official holiday, this should be it.

[Doug_Tipple]

17. If your wife needed to call a "grabber" for you, would that be a happy occasion?

[Nanohedron]

18. You are in Oxford, and have been invited to go and watch "the punters". Will this most likely mean 1) drunken onlookers at a session, 2) people who drop things in order to kick them impressive distances, or 3) boaters crowding the river in an aimless pursuit of pleasure dictated by brave use of a specific type of unstable and dangerously shallow aquatic conveyance, each propelled by a person compounding the thrill of risk to all by standing precariously upright, and repeatedly jabbing a stick into the mud?

19. A "beer engine" is a prodigious drinker. True or false?

20. In fifteen words or less, explain mushy peas.

[dwest]

21. If Cambridge and Oxford are both number six on a list of the Times "THE WORLD UNIVERSITY RANKINGS 2010-2011," who are the first five?

[mutepointe]

22. Name the colonies.
23. What time is sunset?

[mutepointe]

24. How many people are in your way for you to be crowned the next King/Queen of England?

[cboody]

25. Clearly distinguish between a sweater and a vest.

26. What was the motto of the Whimsey family? (well maybe that's reaching since it is fiction but...)

If 26 is acceptable what about the family crest?

[Tor]

27. Describe traditional British beachwear.

[mutepointe]

25. Clearly distinguish between a sweater and a vest.

26. What was the motto of the Whimsey family? (well maybe that's reaching since it is fiction but...)

If 26 is acceptable what about the family crest?

It's "Whimsy". We'll fix that before going to the printers.

[benhall.1]

25. Clearly distinguish between a sweater and a vest.

26. What was the motto of the Whimsey family? (well maybe that's reaching since it is fiction but...)

If 26 is acceptable what about the family crest?

It's "Whimsy". We'll fix that before going to the printers.

Assuming you're talking about Lord Peter Wimsey, it's "Wimsey". If it's someone else, I don't understand the question.

[Peter Duggan]

24. How many people are in your way for you to be crowned the next King/Queen of England?

28. Why is it King/Queen of Scots (not of Scotland)?
29. Why do you want to be a UK citizen?

[dwest]

Maybe it should be the Weasely family from Devon?