British Humour

[Lambchop]

You are scaring me!

I was billeted at a US Navy base in Chicago once, and had breakfast in the POs mess. They ate very well indeed. Good plain cooking, and plenty of it.

This depends on where you are in the US (and perhaps even which branch you are with). My husband was stationed in Ft. McClellan, AL and he said that the food was terrible.

It was terrible, Izz. All Army food is terrible, no matter where you go. And it doesn't matter how high up on the food chain you are, because it's all the same--you just pay more for it.

Officer of the Day duty was considered to be cruel and unusual punishment because you had to inspect the mess hall, which included eating the meal to determine if it was wholesome. And, of course, to add insult to injury, you had to pay for it.

Since I had to stay up all night anyway, I'd entertain myself by turning the mandatory report on the state of the mess hall into a gourmet review, which I usually wrote still sitting in the mess hall, under the direct vision of the sergeant in charge. It always earned the mess hall the dreaded "5 cockroach" rating. The mess hall sergeant hated me.

I used to dream of visiting naval bases because there was an actual officers' mess and you could actually eat there and it had actual china and silver--all with a sweet little anchor motif--and everything was clean and they always had the most wonderful, delicious food. And real butter.

It also had cute little aviators eating there . . .

[scarhand]

You are scaring me!

I was billeted at a US Navy base in Chicago once, and had breakfast in the POs mess. They ate very well indeed. Good plain cooking, and plenty of it.

djm

[music]The biscuits (scones) in the army they say are mighty fine,
One fell off the table and killed a pal of mine.

The coffee in the army they say is mighty fine,
it's good for cuts and bruises and it takes like iodine.[music trails off . . .]

[Whistling Pops]

Okay, that was funny.

I AGREE. When Martin was explaining the joke I still didn't find the humor. But when he wrote "toady" insteaed of "today", I cracked up. I think I must have a strange sense of humor. When I was young I was watching a beauty pageant on TV with my wife. On taking her walk, the crowned queen dropped the crown and awkwardly stumbled along trying to pick it up. I rolled with laughter. I don't want to be cruel but it struck me as funny that someone had just been picked as not only beautiful but graceful and now was awkwardly trying to retrieve the dropped crown. Of course, I never liked beauty pageants so this incidents wasn't a tragedy to me. I remember my wife and mother-in-law became rather upset with me.

[Whistling Pops]

Perhaps this will help explain the difference between American and English wit and humor.

An Englishman get into a taxi cab and says to the driver “ Could you tell me a good
American joke to take back home?” The driver says sure….”There was a girl sitting on a park bench; three fellows came by one was walking, one was on a bicycle and the other was riding a horse; which one knew the girl? The Englishm says :”by God I don’t know”. The cabbies says “well…the horseman knew her” (horse manure----get it).
The Englishman laughs until he cries.

Once home the Englishman is in his Club he decides to try and repeat the joke so he asks his friends “ Would you chaps like to hear some American humor?” Yes! Yes! they all exclaim. “Well there was this damsel sitting on a park bench when who comes by but an equestrian, a pedestrian and a cyclist; which one of them was familiar with the young lady?” “we don’t know they all cry” the Englishman looks around and says “ ‘orse sh*t!”.

I believ that irony and wit are the keys to Emglish humor.

All the best,
Pat Sky

This is funny!!

[Martin Milner]

Last of the Summer Wine is my retirement plan

Better watch out you don't turn into Victor Meldrew.

'One foot in the grave' is the one I enjoy, far too dark sort of humour to go on general US release.

I took a while to get into One Foot in the Grave, but once I did it was a great series. I was suprised they eventually killed Victor off, but it was a good way to terminate the series.

Stephen Wright is brilliant! Maybe the one American Comedian I could never get enough off. Surreal, brilliantly insightful, and a deadpan delivery that challenges you because you usually have to spot the punchline yourself.

"I wrote a few children's books....not on purpose".